woostify domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/latestwordpress/lonestar.a1professionals.net_public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6131Excerpt from young adult fantasy<\/p>\n
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Excerpt from the last scene of chapter two of Ashes of Gold, the conclusion to the Wings of Ebony duology by J. Elle. Used with permission from Denene Milner Books: a division of Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers.<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n I wake with Jhamal\u2019s hand cupped around mine, his eyes glazed with something I can\u2019t place. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWe ready for today\u2019s rehearsing?\u201d he says when he spots me studying him. I sit up and he reaches to help me, but I push his hands away and do it myself.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Guilt turns in me like a corkscrew. I straighten, the prison cell wall at my back, and sift through the collection of memories in my mind for any more hints. Meaning. They come back in a rush. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I remember waiting to gain an edge on the Chancellor when the dome fell. I remember smoke plumes from Yiyo<\/i>. I can almost taste the bitter smoke in the air, screams scratch my ears. I blink and see long eyelashes. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n What have I done?<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAh!\u201d I claw my hands through my hair, trying to push the images from my mind, but they take over. I can\u2019t look away, vivid memories of the battle consuming me in a rush.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Yiyo <\/i>burning. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cRahk . . .\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Screams.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Piles of bloodied armor folded over fallen Patrolmen. I tug harder at my roots, trying to tear the haunted memories out of my head. Jhamal\u2019s hand is warm around mine. He tugs gently on my wrist, trying to unlatch my hands from my hair.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cJelani,\u201d he says, and his words are soft as silk. But I don\u2019t deserve to be wrapped in their comfort.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n What happened to everyone? I sent them to the mountain. They couldn\u2019t have all made it into Yiyo that fast, but still. How many survived? Are they still out there? How long have we been in here?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I grip Jhamal\u2019s shirt.\u201cTell me what happened!\u201d I don\u2019t mean for it to come out like a yell but it does. He startles, biting his lip.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry for yelling.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n He sighs. \u201cYou\u2014\u201d The clang of our breakfast tray slapping the stone and sliding underneath the bars to our cell steals our atten- tion. Breakfast Lady hovers a moment, eyes darting between us, before slipping a book out from her robes. She slides it between the grates. Jhamal hands back two hiding in a shadowed corner of our cell. She\u2019s out of sight without a word to me.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWe should use this time to practice, my Queen, not dwell on things we can\u2019t change.\u201d He reaches for my fingers. His are warm and I remember how he worked over my wounds, put me back together, helped me heal. But I tug my fingers away, curling into myself. I need to get up, walk around. I wiggle my fingers, reaching for my magic, but only puffs of air float up from my fingers. What\u2019s wrong with me? I hate this feeling. I hate feeling weak.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIt won\u2019t work in here.\u201d He runs his fingers across the bars of our prison cell.\u201cThese lead bars sedate magic. I overheard a guard say.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Great, so I\u2019m in prison, without the ability to use my magic, and I can\u2019t quite remember how I even got in here?! I try to stand but my knees buckle. Jhamal catches me, and for a moment I let him be a wall around me. A wall against the storm raging through me. But even that sears after a moment.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThanks,\u201d I say, pulling away from him and steadying myself on the wall.\u201cI got it.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I can\u2019t even stand on my own two feet? I did this. I got us in here. <\/i>Or I let the Chancellor do this? I-I should have fought harder or been smarter or listened to the Ghizoni in the forest when they wanted to think out a plan. But no, no, I had to storm out there and take him on myself. The guilt chokes and I slide down the wall to the floor, hugging my knees. Tears sting my cheeks, shredding everything inside me that used to beat with hope. I\u2019ve saved one home but lost the other one.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Jhamal sits next to me, tucking his lip in understanding. His warmth soothes, but I can\u2019t look at him. Not after what I\u2019ve done.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cJelani, I forgive you. You could not have known\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cStop!\u201d Excuses. <\/i>I won\u2019t listen to it. They looked to me to protect them out there, to make decisions, and I failed. That\u2019s the truth of it. And I won\u2019t let him water it down. I\u2019d pace, but my body feels like it\u2019s barely glued together. If I even breathe too hard, I might break. I gaze at his chin on his chest and shame burns my cheeks. He doesn\u2019t deserve this. He\u2019s done nothing but mend me.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d I mutter.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n His gaze meets mine. \u201cIt\u2019s okay. I hate that you even\u2014\u201d His shoulders slump next to me and for a moment I let my head lie on his shoulder. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cMy people. They need me,\u201d I breathe, and I\u2019m not even sure Jhamal hears it until he turns to me. Everything kind and warm hangs in his ebony eyes. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWe will not think of these things. Right now, getting you strong is the focus. It has to be.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n My eyes sting. \u201cI\u2019m the only one with magic a-and they\u2019re just out there. Without me.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cJelani.\u201d He caresses my jaw with his thumb. But the flutter I feel is buried in memories of Yiyo, Rahk, a battlefield full of blood, until it\u2019s an ember smothered in the ash of my failure.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYou should eat. It usually helps.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I nod begrudgingly as he sets out the tray. I blow out a breath, trying to keep quiet the panic tugging at me. The angst to feel like not only a prisoner of the Chancellor but a prisoner in my own body. The meal is some sort of oats and purple berries with a peanut-buttery aftertaste. Once we\u2019re done eating, the world is heavy, like I used up every bit of energy I had with anger and have none left for practice. Jhamal warned me of that. But I hold my eyes open as best I can,<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n focusing on Jhamal as he feeds me spells. I repeat and recite until every other syllable is a yawn.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cSticky spell,\u201d he says, the first one open.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cSurpizah.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cFireball.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cFeey\u2019laska.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cCord of light.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cPrim.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re remembering so well.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI just want to know why I don\u2019t remember.\u201d I touch a spot on my forehead and it\u2019s rough with a scab. \u201cOw.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Eyelashes.<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cBreathe, it\u2019s going to be okay. Maybe that\u2019s enough for today.\u201d He lays a leg over mine. \u201cWhat is it you call it, again?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cPretzel legs.\u201d A smile tugs at my lips, but the wail of dying people is a ghost in my ears. I untangle my legs from his. Jhamal must sense the question in my pained expression.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYou are remembering, Jelani. That is what matters.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cHow long have we been doing this?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cToo long. Moons? I don\u2019t know. Every time you wake, we have good progress though. You\u2019re going to be so strong, so good at your magic by the time we get out of here.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I close my eyes again, reaching for a memory of getting in this cell. For what happened after the Chancellor captured us. But find only a burning battlefield. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n My breath hitches, my pulse picking up. What have I done? And what about Tasha . . . Ms. Leola . . . they need to know I\u2019m okay. I\u2014<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cBreathe.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n